1st the worst, 2nd the best, 3rd the nerd...

 ...And we're onto book 3!

It's funny; I wrote the blog post the other day professing how much I just... must write! But ever since I "finished" drafts 1 of books 1 and 2, I've been fretting like, "Oh em gee, can I write? Should I write? What do I write? If I write, will I be able to edit? I can't believe I'm not writing! I don't want to lose steam; what if I get rusty and the writing sucks? Am I really... done? Like, I know I have to edit and tweak and add scenes, delete them, etc, so the story isn't done, but the story ISN'T done, so like... I'm not just going to stop writing in the middle of the story am I?"

And what did I say? I said I was going to write. So today, I wrote for almost two hours on the prologue to book 3. It was a half-focused, half-distracted (I'm a lady and Aunt Flo is coming, and thus mental turmoil) session, but it is actually going quite well, and...

*BIG SIGH* I feel amazingly better and instantly more "right" now that I've continued to write. It's silly, the things you tell yourself. Like, I never said I would stop writing, but apparently part of my subconscious believed I would and was FREAKING THE FREAK OUT. And the plotting part on Monday was good. And now we're back on track with writing today, Wednesday. Just like I normally would had I not "finished" the drafts this weekend.

It's so funny though, because, looking back, all this turmoil has felt like I've been wallowing away for a week or more on what to do and not writing, etc, etc, and it's been... three days. And REALLY, it hasn't. Because I "finished" them on, what? Saturday? So I didn't write Sunday? Or no. I think I finished the drafts Sunday, but early.

Okay, so then Monday I drafted the plots for book 3, I usually don't write on Tuesdays anyway, and it's now Wednesday, and I've started book 3.

I'm going to stop myself here, because you see my point? NO EXTRA TIME HAS PASSED and yet I have FELT like it ever since I realized I was "done" with books 1 and 2. 

*shakes head and slams it against a wall*

Your mind is absolutely crazy sometimes, you know that?!

Anyway. Suffice it to say, I'm pleased, more content, still discontent due to the incoming undesirable, but more at peace and feel like I can now breathe and that I'm NOT, in fact, choosing to stop doing what I know God made me to do.

*Deep breath*

Okay. I obviously must not be done writing. I stopped mid-scene to eat dinner and maybe watch a show with the husband before maybe continuing with the scene, but then hubs was like, "Thought you were gonna try to write more?" And I was like, "Eh, I thought we were gonna eat first." (He's on his massive gaming computer with noise-cancelling headphones on his head, shoved to the side off one ear so he can hear me.) He stares at me, shrugs, and then I decide, well, yeah, let me try to write more. I open the laptop back up, say, "Nah," I got plenty of time on Friday, I've been mentally jamming all day long, I'm tired, I'm not hungry but the undesirable is demanding I eat for emotional purposes (BAD idea), and so I decided to pull this up instead.

And thus, yet again, here comes a long-winded post. So maybe I'm NOT done writing.

But I do have to wake up early (like... 3:20am early), it's almost 6pm, I want to read a bit before I go to sleep...

I think I'll leave it as it is for now. I already cannot wait to pick it back up Friday though, and I can't wait to have my stepmom print me books 1 and 2 as she said she'd do when I go visit her and dad and the rest of my literary family for Christmas... oh, it'll be so neat. The ladies over there (o'er yonder) are all published and amazing people and writers and I cannot wait to join their ranks -- even though I have a ways to go. (Honestly, talk about a charlie-horse -- just THINKING about TRULY the work I might have involved on book 1 -- I honestly think book 2 may only need some minor tweaking, because, well, I am coming into my craft and style and who I am and whatever -- is enough to freeze me in my tracks... So I'm taking it a day and a scene at a time. Right now, I'm on the prologue. Had no idea what I was going to do until, on my way home from work today, my Muse said, "Start the book with this person -- oh, but don't forget about this, way in book one, that would be a good prologue." So anyway. That was cool.)

And now I have a cat tearing up the blanket I'm laying under, so... I need to give it some attention. Wonderful as my writing is, my furrbabies are a bit love-starved.

Fare thee well, wonderful people. I cannot wait to finish and share this story with you all. I only hope I can honor my Muse and God and this vague image of completion I have in my brain.

xo, chocolate, and cashew cheese (ew; no, not all together, you gross-ness),

J. R. DuBois, author -- if a bit frazzled.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

[Untitled]. What else is there to say?

Image
How can you rest in the Lord when all you fear is the day His hand will not protect you? Just yesterday, my own struggles were ripped from my chest in such a visceral way that I had to pull over (I was driving). I hadn’t even cried so hard when I watched Mom die. I saw something that took the culmination of the last two years--of the last five deaths (two grandparents, two cats, and my mother), several illnesses and subsequent relational issues, my fear of losing yet another loved one, and the pain of watching the rightness in this world being made wrong--and ripped it out of me. I know people talk about being torn down, about being brought to their knees and rebuilt, but I don’t think folks who haven’t felt that realize what that means. There are no words to that sort of pain. That level of despair. Of hopelessness. If you'd have asked me to stand, I don't think I could have. People like to approach Christians and expect them to have the answer to the problem of evil, only t...
Read more

Listless

 Hey conduits. Maybe I shouldn't call you that. Who knows how many conduit-based books I'll write... Conduit of Fire is, after all, written as a stand-alone with an open ending "just in case." So, I'm done with my book for now. Which is amazing! This said... I'm not writing anything at the moment, simply reworking and fine-tuning the existing multi-edited draft, and it's not enough. I need more. But, given that I've legit been working on this story for so long, turning it from a single book to trilogy to duology and back, I'm listless. I've finished the story I began ten years ago. What now. CP Angela suggests I write something different. Get out of that land and play. I think I want to? But I do love it. But also I'm trying to decide WHAT. When I first wrote this story, I was just messing around with it, writing for fun and to fill the time between school and work and life. Then come 2020, I took it seriously and gave it a theme and fleshe...
Read more

Happy New Rear, Darlin's. An Update, the Intention, and Other Blatherings.

 Howdy Ho! ((Why won't this thing let me post a picture!? It says I have to sign into Google, but I did, dang it.)) Since my previous post, I've had some significant traction, where the creative process goes. I heard back from one agent, but she desired me to cut my words down from 173,000 to 120,000. Give that this story was already going to be a trilogy turned duology turned single book (with series potential), it had already had a plethora of words sliced from it, but I did my best. Instead of 50,000 words, I was able to slice a little more than 11k. Not too shabby, considering there was little I could slice from the plot. I did reach back out to her, but am still awaiting feedback. Additionally, I submitted to the last remaining agents on my list for 2024, and have already received one rejection. I am grateful I was even given an actual rejection, as ofttimes, you are waiting until a certain time passes to know if you were rejected. (Perhaps I shouldn't say YOU, but tra...
Read more