Author J. R. DuBois: Unfiltered

I cried today. It wasn't even 6am. There's a myriad of reasons I could expound upon as possible causes for my tears or the listless toil I've been experiencing, but specifics don't matter. But apparently, I've been like this for a while now. Before opening this draft, I perused the titles of my previous blogs, and there's been a theme, and one I don't like.  I think it comes from suppressing what I know my heart and soul needs in the name of how this world (read: society) defines self-care, rest, and rejuvenation, which often equates to some version of isolation even though, unlike most writers, I'm an avid people-person. (All while admitting that I am still actually human and do need some of that, too.) In short, this definition and chasing-of-the wind (thanks, Solomon) has been negatively affecting my art and my efficacy at work and, if I'm honest, my general state of mind. You know, when Jesus was actively here on Earth doing His Ministry, He woul...

The other day, one of my writer friends said to me, "Stop trying to listen to advice that you know in your heart wasn't for you. Publish the d*mn book. It's ready and so are you." I have to say, it was one of the most loving things someone could have said to me. A lot of folks today cherish encouraging words and actions on the parts of their loved ones and significant others. And I do, too, I suppose, but what I really cherish and value is when they speak truth over me, independent of how it might make me feel in the moment. My book is ready for publication. There is something small I want to tweak in the beginning to decrease the wordcount a bit, and Lord knows I have no cover and haven't formatted it or gotten any ISBN numbers, etc, but I'm holding off on doing so until I finish the first draft of Jezra so I don't mis-represent the characters and bleed the different motivations and personalities across the manuscripts. But. It is still ready. Even as is....

I feel like I'm desiccating. Not that I'm not alive. Not that I'm sad or depressed. I'm restless . I feel like a suped-up car, throttle down, revved up, my wheels spinning into the ground, going nowhere despite how hard I'm pressing the gas. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of toiling. I'm tired of putting all of my efforts towards things which don't seem to appreciate the effort. ( Matthew 7:6 "...do not throw your pearls before pigs, for they will trample them under feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." ) I feel torn to pieces. I feel yanked in different directions. I feel like I can TASTE what I'm supposed to be doing, where I'm supposed to be going, how maybe I should be doing it, and yet stunted for trying to get all the answers now, and to do it my way, on my terms, in my time. When I was with my friends in Georgia, I felt... whole. Now, that's a lot to put on some friends. This is me telling them, in the event that they...

I just spent two hours staring at my screen, being distracted by my phone at hard scenes, being distraught that my cats didn't cuddle me as they usually do while I write on rainy days, and for all my trouble, managed to write about 150 words. (Of course, the moment I start writing THIS, my boys finally want to come cuddle. Praise God. There is something absolutely magical about a cat's purr.) There's also something absolutely magical about creative flow, when everything just WORKS. Today, I pulled teeth to write a measly 150 words of a scene which I may not keep when I join Nicole for a writing retreat tomorrow at our favorite cafe and creperie , but man, when the Muse starts yammering... I can write thousands of words in the same allotted timeframe, and it. is. magic. But today. Today, today. Today's been a decent day. I woke early for work, but not as early as I usually do, so I got to sleep in some, trained some fabulous clients, got a new one started, then jaunted t...

Hi again, from me & my Romeo. So a lot has been happening this last month-ish. Last time I posted was at the beginning of January, and thus far, my main efforts have been digging into this second book of mine (coined the Jezra Story for now), and selecting a platform for a monthly newsletter combining three seemingly un-related topics across fiction (duh), faith (double duh), and fitness (triple duh). ( Check out my Substack here ; second installment forthcoming.) But! Also, in addition to all of this mess, I've been *trying* to consistently post on social media (which is actually harder than you'd think, though, in theory, all I should need do is just share what I'm already doing), AND an agent REQUESTED A FULL COPY OF MY MANUSCRIPT . Now. This is a big deal. BUT. It still by no means means (lol, means means... English is funny) that I'll be offered a letter of representation, and now I'm in a waiting game for a couple months to learn whether or not they like e...

 Howdy Ho! ((Why won't this thing let me post a picture!? It says I have to sign into Google, but I did, dang it.)) Since my previous post, I've had some significant traction, where the creative process goes. I heard back from one agent, but she desired me to cut my words down from 173,000 to 120,000. Give that this story was already going to be a trilogy turned duology turned single book (with series potential), it had already had a plethora of words sliced from it, but I did my best. Instead of 50,000 words, I was able to slice a little more than 11k. Not too shabby, considering there was little I could slice from the plot. I did reach back out to her, but am still awaiting feedback. Additionally, I submitted to the last remaining agents on my list for 2024, and have already received one rejection. I am grateful I was even given an actual rejection, as ofttimes, you are waiting until a certain time passes to know if you were rejected. (Perhaps I shouldn't say YOU, but tra...

 Hello and good morning. Except it's afternoon. Actually, I think it's the start of the evening. Is 4pm evening? *shrug* It is when you wake at 330am for your 5am clients! Anyway. Conduit of Fire is officially complete. The only thing that remains to be seen with it is for me to hire a professional editor and follow the publishing procedure--ASSUMING I don't get picked up by trad-pub. It has officially been 4-5 months since my last submission to the 3 folks prior to. No dice. I have 6 other names I can submit to, and I intend to, but it's weird how life interrupts your intention. So the James River Writing Conference is coming up, and one of the agents I paid to speak with suggested I go to it. It will be about $400. The cost isn't the reason I'm deciding not to go. It is because 1) there's also the Hampton Roads Writing Conference I want to go to, and 2) it is also $400, and 3) [the main reason] I really want to have a full rough draft of my second book bef...

Heavens to Betsy, is Book Two's progress slowing down because I know I'm getting near the end, getting overwhelmed with all the stuff I need to make happen before the end -- which is fast approaching -- or is it because I want to tweak the end of Book One so Book Two essentially becomes Part Two of Book One, thus making Book 1 and 2 only one book? *grabs head and screams* Yesterday, I was certain that this (the latter) was what I thought I should do. But now... Eeeeuuughhh... As I've tried to plot and draft such a thing, I realize... well. Maybe yes and maybe no. I really could make this thing a trilogy, but I also want to try very hard to make it a duology with trilogy, prequel, and sequel potential, so either way, the stories are connected, but do I finish book two, finesse it as much as I have Book One, and then ram the two together with the neat little sections of "Part One" and "Part Two," and then leave the prologue of Book Two and some of the vill...

God said, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." That's His very first commandment. Oh, but we are so GOOD at creating idols, aren't we? Even with the very GOOD gifts He gave us! TLDR: My priorities have been realigned; Book Two is coming along nicely; I'm about to answer the final major question about what's going on with the priesthood amidst the magic system alongside corruption and resistance (super frickin' hard); my CP Angela is helping me greatly finesse COF; I think I've decided to officially self-publish, though the thought grinds my guts about actually making it happen and marketing myself into a decent author platform; and I went to a wonderful wedding of two good friends over the weekend like a mini adult summer camp. TW: Long ramble about how I see/hear/interact with God in my life. So.. bunch of Jesus stuff, but hey. He's around, so what do you expect? So this last week, I had a hard reminder of priorities. It's funny, this wh...

 One of the ironic things about trying to build a platform online for potential readers is the fact that, in order to do so, I must encourage them to spend more time looking at a screen when I think most of the world's problems come from not looking up. The deeper irony is that, without such things as social media, blogs, etc, our ability to get ourselves out there and known is slim to none. Can it be done? It has, it can, and it will again. But those who know how to do such things -- now that social media has swept the world by storm some 20 years ago -- the way business and marketing is done has changed, likely forever -- or for as long as we have this thing called the internet available to us. So why do I dislike the screen? I dislike it for many reasons. I love it, because it gives me a method of writing my book much faster than I could if I free-wrote it, edits and rewrites and moving parts around in the story are a breeze, and you can connect with people all across the countr...

 One of the themes of A Conduit of Fire is truth vs widely-accepted lies. At the original time of writing -- ten years ago -- I didn't realize this would be a theme of the book, but it is. The book is already written and I am well on my way to completing the second rough draft for Book Two, but I would be lying if recent events didn't impact the development of COF as well as Book Two. This world, as much as I love it, my country, and people (I truly, truly do; many claim to love people but they only like the idea of them, or those who are identical to them in thought, behavior, appearance, beliefs, or otherwise), is going crazy. It is only fueling some of the ideas for the end of Book Two and development of Book Three, which has yet to have had an initial draft (I wrote draft one of Book Two before I even edited COF, and now I've definitely had my work cut out for me). That said, this notion of truth is very important to all of our lives and how we are to live them. One of...