Toil, Toil, Roil and Rubble

Heavens to Betsy, is Book Two's progress slowing down because I know I'm getting near the end, getting overwhelmed with all the stuff I need to make happen before the end -- which is fast approaching -- or is it because I want to tweak the end of Book One so Book Two essentially becomes Part Two of Book One, thus making Book 1 and 2 only one book?

*grabs head and screams*

Yesterday, I was certain that this (the latter) was what I thought I should do. But now... Eeeeuuughhh... As I've tried to plot and draft such a thing, I realize... well. Maybe yes and maybe no. I really could make this thing a trilogy, but I also want to try very hard to make it a duology with trilogy, prequel, and sequel potential, so either way, the stories are connected, but do I finish book two, finesse it as much as I have Book One, and then ram the two together with the neat little sections of "Part One" and "Part Two," and then leave the prologue of Book Two and some of the villain POVs as an "Interlude" between?

*screams*

Who the spells knows. Upon spending about an hour or so trying to bullet, draft, outline, and half plot this potential merger, I'm not sure how to do it, and beginning to doubt if I should. It would make for a VERY long debut novel (not as long as BrandoSando's novels, but still much longer than a debut should be; Book One as is is already too long for a debut, though not by much). I DO think there will be some significant reworking and editing to Book Two upon this draft's completion (as there always is) before I send it to betas and any critique partners (hoping to finish the draft up before year's end -- so I *really* need to stop with this bloody procrastinating!), and during that editing phase, any chunky/wonky areas should be smoothed out, thus making any possible braiding-together of Book One and Two that much more smooth -- and possible -- but as it stands right now...

I think I just need to stay focused on Book Two, tweak the necessary edits to Book One and my CP Angela points them out, and worry about any other tweaks during Book Two's edit.

Sounds common sense. Sounds obvious.

SO WHY AM I PROCRASTINATING?

I swear; it's like I know what I want to do, I jones to do it, crave it, get angry and frustrated when I cannot do it, especially when my very SOUL is crying out to JUST WRITE, CREATE, DO that thing that God has GIFTED me to do (tooting my own horn right now: I used to suck; I do not any longer).  And yet, when I have the time, the closer I get to the climax of Book Two, I find myself... 

Suffocating under more research about cat food (which is fruitless right now until I can get my boy his allergy test where I'll find out what he's allergic to), cat litter (ditto), researching more barefoot shoes (minimal footwear for the win!), scrolling social media (I am trying to stop that; I loathe it), or other random things.

And now, as I wait for my other CP and friend Nicole to call me, I, instead of spending this time writing, I am now blogging.

That's okay. I need to blog. Can't create a following and readership without one, right? At least that's what "They" tell me. Not sure if I believe Them. What do I have, like three people who read this thing? Whatever; who cares. I'm writing for me, and while I can't wait to share it with the world, and I want EVERYONE to read my story, I'd be writing it whether anyone reads it or not, so... there's a freedom in that. And I guess this thing DOES provide an outlet for my ramblings, but who wants to listen to the ramblings of an unpublished author?

You. You do. You're reading this. Why are you reading this right now? Whatever the reason: thank you. I appreciate you more than you know. At least this toiling isn't completely in vain (lol).

Anyway. I'm far from bitter. I love this process (am I masochistic? I don't think so...). No, I'm just "talking out my a$$" as my dad says. Just shooting the $h!t (another one of his). Waiting for my friend to call so we can both complain about how slow-going writing is right now, get it off our chest, commiserate, probably talk about our cats (writers are required to have cats, did you know? It's a law. Look it up). And then, upon letting the conversation fizzle naturally, both have a fountain of Muse-inspired rambling rain down upon us and open the dam that is our creativity, and then wonder why we complained about not being able to write in the first place. Of COURSE this is what God created us to do; how could we ever forget? How could we ever doubt?

Le sigh. Haha. Nah, but really, though; that's kind of how it always goes. This creating and writing stuff is intense, weird, horribly frustrating, wonderfully satisfying, and it is literally one of those things where you feel so good about, so confident about, yet so doubtful of, love the process, loathe the process, and... It's a mess, and we writers love it, hate it, love to hate it, hate to love it, and it is simply magical.

So... That all said. Nicole will be calling momentarily. I'm going to go back to the screen and stare at it with the hope that some words will leak out of my fingers before she calls. History suggests I'll either hit a writing groove and not want to answer, or I'll at least make myself feel better for agreeing to show up and stare at the screen, even if nothing happens. At least I showed up. I did my part. It's not my fault my Muse is sleeping in much later than we agreed upon.

Anyhow.

Have an amazing day and weekend, conduits. Sorry for the absence during my vacation and the settling-back-into-life, but I am back, and Book Two, regardless if it remains Book Two or becomes Part Two of Book One, is coming along nicely. God willing, I should be able to make my goal of finishing the draft before year's end, hopefully with a nice, clean, satisfying ending.

Pray for me, lol.

God bless,

Jess 

P.S.

Romeo cuddling my husband. He's so cute. (Tim is too, I guess ;-P)