Author J. R. DuBois

I feel like I'm desiccating. Not that I'm not alive. Not that I'm sad or depressed. I'm restless . I feel like a suped-up car, throttle down, revved up, my wheels spinning into the ground, going nowhere despite how hard I'm pressing the gas. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of toiling. I'm tired of putting all of my efforts towards things which don't seem to appreciate the effort. ( Matthew 7:6 "...do not throw your pearls before pigs, for they will trample them under feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." ) I feel torn to pieces. I feel yanked in different directions. I feel like I can TASTE what I'm supposed to be doing, where I'm supposed to be going, how maybe I should be doing it, and yet stunted for trying to get all the answers now, and to do it my way, on my terms, in my time. When I was with my friends in Georgia, I felt... whole. Now, that's a lot to put on some friends. This is me telling them, in the event that they...

I just spent two hours staring at my screen, being distracted by my phone at hard scenes, being distraught that my cats didn't cuddle me as they usually do while I write on rainy days, and for all my trouble, managed to write about 150 words. (Of course, the moment I start writing THIS, my boys finally want to come cuddle. Praise God. There is something absolutely magical about a cat's purr.) There's also something absolutely magical about creative flow, when everything just WORKS. Today, I pulled teeth to write a measly 150 words of a scene which I may not keep when I join Nicole for a writing retreat tomorrow at our favorite cafe and creperie , but man, when the Muse starts yammering... I can write thousands of words in the same allotted timeframe, and it. is. magic. But today. Today, today. Today's been a decent day. I woke early for work, but not as early as I usually do, so I got to sleep in some, trained some fabulous clients, got a new one started, then jaunted t...